CFC Library

CFC Library is dedicated to meeting the lifelong learning, reading and information needs of CFC Students, Pilots, Aviatiors, offering collections of aviation related articles and journals.

Technical Problems Reported by Pilots and Remedial Maintenance Actions

Hi Everyone,
Got this sent to me a while back. Thought you'd might enjoy it after seeing the ATC and Pilot humor:

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

P: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500lbs.---. 
S: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300lbs.

P: Unfamiliar noise coming from No2 engine. Engine run for three hours.---. 
S: Noise now familiar.

P: Number three engine missing. [not firing properly presumably].---. 
S: Engine found on starboard [right] wing after brief search.

P: Pilot's clock inoperative.---. 
S: Wound clock.

P: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.---. 
S: Pilot removed from aircraft.

P: IFF inoperative. [IFF = Identification, Friend or Foe.].---. 
S: IFF always inoperative in 'off' mode.

P: No2 ADF needle runs wild. [ADF = Automatic Direction Finder/Finding?].---. 
S: Caught and tamed No2 ADF needle.

P: Turn and slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.---. 
S: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

P: Three roaches in cabin.---. 
S: One roach killed, one wounded, one got away.

P: DME volume set unbelievably loud. [DME = Distance Measuring Equipment?].---. 
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: No2 propeller seeping prop fluid.---. 
S: No2 propeller seepage normal. Nos 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

Make an Impossible Dream Come True - Осуществить н...
Don't Hold it to Yourself - Share!
 

Comments

No comments made yet. Be the first to submit a comment
Already Registered? Login Here
Guest
Friday, 03 December 2021

Captcha Image